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I was 18 but I suddenly didn't feel anywhere near that age. I was not sexual, I didn't know anything. It wasn't that I had been sheltered, I just had never searched for the sexual knowledge. But being in such close confines with a man's penis I couldn't turn away. I dropped to my knees by his chair, staring up in wonder. Upon closer inspection I saw his hands trembling around his hardened shaft, I reached up, touching the tip with intense curiosity. He groaned and pulled his hand away from himself. I looked up into his eyes, seeing a visual representation of the battle he must be feeling inside. The fatherly intuition telling him to walk away and leave it besides, the male instructions to use the fertile girl on her knees in front of him to continue his blood line. I didn't want him to turn me away, I wanted him to teach me.Which is why I decided to act. I reached up delicately, wrapping my feminine hand around his erection. The feel of the heat throbbing beneath my touch sent a new. I laid it on the table next to the chair, and sat down.Holding the ball of the cane with both hands, I stared longingly into the fire, as if looking for answers to questions I didn't like very much. I quickly broke and looked around at the various leather bound books in the shelves, before settling back on the fire.A tear fell from my eye. Then another. And another. I cried silently. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You weren't supposed to die first.I was thirty-two years older than you, sweetheart. We've been inseparable for thirty-five years, darling. And now you are gone. And I'm alone. I don't like being alone.I strengthened my resolve a little, and got up again. I went to my bar, and opened that bottle of Louis XI Cognac you bought me, back when we could afford it. I kept saving it for the right occasion for us to share it.I guess we won't share it, huh? We never found the occasion. It never had occurred to me that you entering my life made every day an occasion. Not until it.
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